How could my loving and Christian husband be cheating on me, on our family? The truth eventually came out after many lies and heartbreak. I thought surely my husband would beg for forgiveness. Instead, he asked for a divorce. He said he'd been unhappy for years. I suddenly felt sick and wondered who this man was that I had married. He now felt like a stranger and I felt like an idiot for not being able to see his true colors.
The divorce was horrible. I thought my husband would be generous since he was the one who destroyed our marriage and family. But, he tried to get the house, the kids -- everything! I can't say he got what he wanted, but he sure put up one heck of a fight. I got the house and the children, but am now struggling to make ends meet. It doesn't seem fair to be punished for what my husband did. It isn't fair to our children!
My children are starting to heal somewhat, but I can see the divorce still hurts them. Their lifestyle has changed. They can't understand why daddy wanted out. Truth be told, he doesn't come around like he should for his children. He seems to enjoy his time spent with multiple women. How can you explain to children of any age why daddy changed? I can't even explain it to myself. Maybe he was a loser all along.
I'm determined to have a better life and move on from this disaster. Starting over after 40 isn't easy, but I won't let it be the end!
-Renee