This story is about Linda (named changed for anonymity), a friend of mine who wanted me to tell her story. Linda hopes her story will give hope and encouragement to anyone who is in a similar situation.
Linda got involved with a man (we will call him Jack for anonymity) who seemed to be of good character. In general, he does have good character, but the one thing that didn't show up early in their relationship was his drinking problem. At first Linda never saw him drink. Then he would drink a little here and there until drinking became an everyday habit.
Before Linda saw how bad Jack's drinking problem was, she became pregnant with their first child. Jack was a hard worker, and in many ways, had a big heart. He was always stepping in to help his friends or even strangers. But, when he drank, he became very mouthy and hostile to Linda and anyone around him.
Jack had served in the military and it is believed that much of his drinking is contributed to flashbacks he has of what he saw and experienced. When he drank, he had flashbacks and sometimes thought Linda was the enemy on enemy grounds. It became quite scary!
Jack knew he had a problem, but his theory is that drinking is just who he is and he isn't going to change his habit. Linda realized that Jack was suffering from PTSD and tried her best to be supportive and understanding. Jack still drinks to this day after several DUIs and a couple times of being in jail for DUIs. That's another story in itself.
After experiencing too much, too many scary situations and giving too many chances, Linda decided to leave Jack. It took a few years, but she realized that she could not "fix" Jack. Jack needed to want help and needed to have the desire to change his life.
A day here, a week here or there, Jack would do better and give the impression he did want help and did want to change. But, it never lasted long. Linda does not regret her decision to leave. She now sees how much abuse she put up with because of Jack's drinking. In some ways it became her "normal". It took getting out of the situation to see how abnormal her life was.
If you have a drinking problem or suffer from PTSD, please seek help. If you are in an abusive situation caused by drinking, drugs or any issue, please seek help. Your problem doesn't just affect you. It effects everyone around you.
Linda's story as told by Kate
Linda got involved with a man (we will call him Jack for anonymity) who seemed to be of good character. In general, he does have good character, but the one thing that didn't show up early in their relationship was his drinking problem. At first Linda never saw him drink. Then he would drink a little here and there until drinking became an everyday habit.
Before Linda saw how bad Jack's drinking problem was, she became pregnant with their first child. Jack was a hard worker, and in many ways, had a big heart. He was always stepping in to help his friends or even strangers. But, when he drank, he became very mouthy and hostile to Linda and anyone around him.
Jack had served in the military and it is believed that much of his drinking is contributed to flashbacks he has of what he saw and experienced. When he drank, he had flashbacks and sometimes thought Linda was the enemy on enemy grounds. It became quite scary!
Jack knew he had a problem, but his theory is that drinking is just who he is and he isn't going to change his habit. Linda realized that Jack was suffering from PTSD and tried her best to be supportive and understanding. Jack still drinks to this day after several DUIs and a couple times of being in jail for DUIs. That's another story in itself.
After experiencing too much, too many scary situations and giving too many chances, Linda decided to leave Jack. It took a few years, but she realized that she could not "fix" Jack. Jack needed to want help and needed to have the desire to change his life.
A day here, a week here or there, Jack would do better and give the impression he did want help and did want to change. But, it never lasted long. Linda does not regret her decision to leave. She now sees how much abuse she put up with because of Jack's drinking. In some ways it became her "normal". It took getting out of the situation to see how abnormal her life was.
If you have a drinking problem or suffer from PTSD, please seek help. If you are in an abusive situation caused by drinking, drugs or any issue, please seek help. Your problem doesn't just affect you. It effects everyone around you.
Linda's story as told by Kate