Dilemma: I am ready to pull my hair out. No matter how hard I try, I cannot get my boyfriend to listen. He tunes me out. He seems to put more importance on watching TV or anything, but listening to me. I am at the end of my rope. I've even thought about breaking up with him because of him not listening.
Advice: This is a very common complaint among women. As I'm sure you know, communication is a key element in any healthy relationship. Just as it takes two to tango, it takes two to have effective communication.
To get your boyfriend to listen to you, you have to be in tune with him. This means knowing his moods and knowing the most favorable times to talk. Even though you are about to explode to tell him something, don't start blurting out everything the moment you see him. Give your boyfriend time to calm down and relax from the daily grind. This means a better chance of maintaining his attention.
Maintain a calm and positive tone when you want your boyfriend to listen. A nagging or demanding tone will not get you anywhere. In fact, he will have reason to tune you out. Nobody likes to hear nagging or demands. Show respect in how you talk to your boyfriend.
Keep it simple. Men tend to think in simpler ways than women do. They like women to get to the point and not beat around the bush. Be straightforward, using short topics until you get everything out. Don't hint! Men dislike trying to read a woman's mind.
Choose your words with thoughtfulness. Use the same type of wording that you would want your boyfriend to use with you. Use words that express positivity. Don't use words that attack or express bossiness.
Reciprocate by listening to your boyfriend attentively. This means even listening to his corny jokes. If you want to be listened to, you need to show your boyfriend that his thoughts and feelings are important, too.
Have something to say. Sure you have something to say, but are you just ranting or making real conversation? Real conversation involves expressing thoughts and feelings. It involves feedback and interaction.
Explain what you feel when he doesn't listen. Don't attack. Let your boyfriend know that you feel devalued and unimportant when he doesn't listen. Ask him if there is a specific reason as to why he tunes you out. Listen calmly to his side. Try to find a compromise that works for both of you such as a good time to talk.
Now there is the type of guy who will not listen no matter how hard you try. I'm sure men have run into the same type of woman. In this case, it might be time to consider moving on. If you cannot communicate with your partner, your relationship will always have conflict.
Advice: This is a very common complaint among women. As I'm sure you know, communication is a key element in any healthy relationship. Just as it takes two to tango, it takes two to have effective communication.
To get your boyfriend to listen to you, you have to be in tune with him. This means knowing his moods and knowing the most favorable times to talk. Even though you are about to explode to tell him something, don't start blurting out everything the moment you see him. Give your boyfriend time to calm down and relax from the daily grind. This means a better chance of maintaining his attention.
Maintain a calm and positive tone when you want your boyfriend to listen. A nagging or demanding tone will not get you anywhere. In fact, he will have reason to tune you out. Nobody likes to hear nagging or demands. Show respect in how you talk to your boyfriend.
Keep it simple. Men tend to think in simpler ways than women do. They like women to get to the point and not beat around the bush. Be straightforward, using short topics until you get everything out. Don't hint! Men dislike trying to read a woman's mind.
Choose your words with thoughtfulness. Use the same type of wording that you would want your boyfriend to use with you. Use words that express positivity. Don't use words that attack or express bossiness.
Reciprocate by listening to your boyfriend attentively. This means even listening to his corny jokes. If you want to be listened to, you need to show your boyfriend that his thoughts and feelings are important, too.
Have something to say. Sure you have something to say, but are you just ranting or making real conversation? Real conversation involves expressing thoughts and feelings. It involves feedback and interaction.
Explain what you feel when he doesn't listen. Don't attack. Let your boyfriend know that you feel devalued and unimportant when he doesn't listen. Ask him if there is a specific reason as to why he tunes you out. Listen calmly to his side. Try to find a compromise that works for both of you such as a good time to talk.
Now there is the type of guy who will not listen no matter how hard you try. I'm sure men have run into the same type of woman. In this case, it might be time to consider moving on. If you cannot communicate with your partner, your relationship will always have conflict.