A breakup at middle age or after age 40 often seems different than a breakup in your earlier years. When you experience a breakup in your twenties, it still hurts. But, you feel you have many more years of life left and opportunities to find a better and lasting relationship. You feel the clock ticking in many ways when you reach middle age. A breakup makes you feel you might not ever find a good match, much less a lifetime partner.
In reality, it is your mindset that makes a difference. You can never give up hope. If you say "game over" after a breakup, then you have already lost. Find ways to increase your odds of finding someone new and hopefully, someone for a lifetime.
Self Assessment
It is difficult to take a long, hard look at yourself. But, this can help to be more realistic about what you are offering to the opposite sex. For example, have you gotten cynical because of letdowns in your life? Do you come across as pessimistic when you are on a date? If so, learn to be more positive. Let your personality shine. People love to be around those who have a great personality. It is uplifting and contagious.
Although looks should not be the main focus, do you have room for improvement? Most everyone does, myself included! Make a few changes such as a new hairstyle or add some new stylish clothes to your wardrobe. If you show you take interest in yourself (not in a selfish way), people tend to take an interest in you.
Are you interesting and a good conversationalist or do you come across as boring? Being interesting does not mean you have stories to tell about skydiving or being an Olympic swimmer. It means making what you do and who you are come to life with an aura of confidence and accomplishment. It means exuding excitement for life. Some people half your age don't have that!
Your Reasons
Do you know why you want to be in a relationship? Oh, you might be thinking, "that is a crazy question". Your reasons for wanting to be in a relationship can make a difference in finding a good match. If you want a relationship based on loneliness, chances are you will be too hasty and won't take time to really get to know someone. This increases the chance of settling for the wrong person. Even if you are lonely, always take time in getting to know someone and use discretion with anyone who enters your life.
The same theory applies to other reasons for wanting a relationship such as wanting someone for financial gain, to be rescued or for someone to take care of you. While these reasons may be "part" of why you want someone in your life, the ultimate reason should be to find someone who is good for you and a true partner. It shouldn't be a matter of settling to get a lesser need fulfilled.
Expand Your Horizons
If you are having trouble in middle age meeting the opposite sex, expand your horizons. Hang out at new places. Accept more invitations from friends instead of staying home. Join a club or start a class or new hobby. Your chances of meeting someone will increase when you have a common interest.
Look outside of your comfort zone. If you have only dated people your age, why not go for someone five years younger or older. Five years doesn't make a lot of difference. We all have criteria in looks. Maybe you like a woman with long hair. Don't stop there. Give the short-haired women a try. Maybe you are a woman and tend to go for the tall men. A shorter man might just hold the key to your heart. Besides, isn't character, integrity and common goals more important? By looking outside of your comfort zone, you increase opportunity to meet more people, which increases the odds of finding your perfect match.
“To win you've got to stay in the game." - Claude M. Bristol