Some people tell you that you are not your child's friend, you are their parent! Act your age! Act like a parent!
You might know some parent(s) who, as their children get older, seem to be getting younger, or act younger. Instead of acting like mature adults, they seem to be acting more like a teenager. They dress in younger styles. They may even "hang out" with their child and their child's friends. They participate in activities that don't seem age appropriate.
Some may see this as the parent just wishing to BE young again, or re-live their teen years vicariously through their own teenage child. Some may see this as the parent relinquishing their parental duties. As a parent you should remain a mature, authoritative figure in your child's life.
However, is there a fine line between the two styles of parenting?
If you are too authoritative, does that scare your child off, making them reluctant to talk openly to you? Does that keep them from telling you about things that are going on in their lives? Your child may just acknowledge your authoritative side and see you as an "older" person who is totally out of touch with the younger generation.
Can you find a balance between the two styles of parenting?
In this day and age of the Internet and cell phones, maybe it is important to find that balance in order to stay "in the loop" of what your child is up to. If you loosen up on the authorative reigns, your child may feel a little less intimidated by your parental position. They may feel a little more at ease in confiding in you.
Often as parents, we may use the computer or cell phone as a bargaining chip. You do as I say, keep your room clean, keep up your grades, etc., I'll allow you to use these items. Or, in reverse, if your grades go down, or you stay out too late, or slack in your responsibilities/chores, you ban them from use.
As a parent, you have to find the balance. You can't be too much of a friend for fear of losing your credibility and parental responsibilities, but you can't be too authoritative either, for fear of losing your child to defiance.
Sometimes you DO need to put on your "authority" hat. It shows your child that you only have their best interests at heart and they can count on your for guidance. But sometimes you do have to put on your "fun" hat. Kids need to know, even as teenagers, that you can also be fun-loving and a good friend to be around and share things with... someone that they can "relate" to. It's important that they know they can come to you as both a friend and a parent. Children need you to BE both in order to keep the lines of communication open for every aspect of their maturing years, maybe even moreso in this day and age of computers and cell phones.
-Penny, guest writer from Canada
You might know some parent(s) who, as their children get older, seem to be getting younger, or act younger. Instead of acting like mature adults, they seem to be acting more like a teenager. They dress in younger styles. They may even "hang out" with their child and their child's friends. They participate in activities that don't seem age appropriate.
Some may see this as the parent just wishing to BE young again, or re-live their teen years vicariously through their own teenage child. Some may see this as the parent relinquishing their parental duties. As a parent you should remain a mature, authoritative figure in your child's life.
However, is there a fine line between the two styles of parenting?
If you are too authoritative, does that scare your child off, making them reluctant to talk openly to you? Does that keep them from telling you about things that are going on in their lives? Your child may just acknowledge your authoritative side and see you as an "older" person who is totally out of touch with the younger generation.
Can you find a balance between the two styles of parenting?
In this day and age of the Internet and cell phones, maybe it is important to find that balance in order to stay "in the loop" of what your child is up to. If you loosen up on the authorative reigns, your child may feel a little less intimidated by your parental position. They may feel a little more at ease in confiding in you.
Often as parents, we may use the computer or cell phone as a bargaining chip. You do as I say, keep your room clean, keep up your grades, etc., I'll allow you to use these items. Or, in reverse, if your grades go down, or you stay out too late, or slack in your responsibilities/chores, you ban them from use.
As a parent, you have to find the balance. You can't be too much of a friend for fear of losing your credibility and parental responsibilities, but you can't be too authoritative either, for fear of losing your child to defiance.
Sometimes you DO need to put on your "authority" hat. It shows your child that you only have their best interests at heart and they can count on your for guidance. But sometimes you do have to put on your "fun" hat. Kids need to know, even as teenagers, that you can also be fun-loving and a good friend to be around and share things with... someone that they can "relate" to. It's important that they know they can come to you as both a friend and a parent. Children need you to BE both in order to keep the lines of communication open for every aspect of their maturing years, maybe even moreso in this day and age of computers and cell phones.
-Penny, guest writer from Canada